In all my life
It’s never been like this
So desperate and hungry
I want you, need you,
An intense obsession
Or a session of intensity
Why-
The choices I make,
Wild, irrational, senseless, contradictory, pain inducing
They baffle me
Why can’t I walk away
It feels so right, alone in your arms
Impassioned embraces
Kisses and feelings
In the dark
In the light secrecy, stolen glances, encounters in shadows,
Veiled affection taking the form of friendship
Once again, I’ve betrayed myself, my heart, me
I’ve let myself love but this has nothing to do with you
I let myself love you, I knew all yet I walked in
Eyes wide open, arms outstretched, heart exposed and hungry incessantly searching
For solace and fulfillment
Don’t believe that you’ve done this and you’ve hurt me and you keep hurting me
I do this, I did this, I keep doing this shit to myself.
I’m sorry I got you involved in the madness.
I don’t want you to hate me, I love you, I’m clear that I do
Is it right, is it sane
I honestly don’t know
I think about a future with you and it seems so right
But then I hate myself because all I see in the present is pain-all around-
So, as much as this might hurt me and hurt you
And as absolutely hollow and alone I may feel and naked without you in my life
I am going to say goodbye I am going to say, I love you one more time and I’m going to say goodbye