the pain of waiting

Two weeks to embrace my fragility and all of my shortcomings
to realize with chest-aching clarity that I love her and I love him and I'm not ready to leave them yet
to begin bargaining for more time
time to say things and teach things and see things and be things
and to make plans for ifs and whens and hows
to go places and do things so memories will linger even as I fade
to impress upon her the remarkable woman I know she'll become and to assure him of the incredible man I always knew he would be
to show him how to comb her hair and dress her warm and sit with her until she forgets about the darkness and the bad thoughts and finally goes to sleep

bargaining for time to remember dreams and chastise myself for not realizing them all
for only half-heartedly acknowledging that life is too short and it's not promised and we have to live it fully

Every moment of my life now seems magnified, clear and in amazing technicolor detail every mistake, every accomplishment
every smile or tear

I've done so much and I've been so much, good and bad and in between but there is still so much left to do, to have, to be, good or bad or in between
and there is still love to share and to receive
and people to tell that they mean everything, especially her and especially him

How do I begin? Where do I begin?
Two weeks feels like an eternity...but it also just feels like two weeks.